That... was for everything else

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Directed by Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois
Produced by Bonnie Arnold, Doug Davison, Roy Lee, Michael Connolly, Tim Johnson
Written by Adam F. Goldberg, Peter Tolan, Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders, Cressida Cowell (Story)
Starring Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jonah Hill, America Ferrera, Craig Ferguson

How to Train Your Dragon trailer

Notes

• I accidentally called this "How I Met Your Dragon".
• I wish Gerard Butler had to yell a line like "THIS... IS... BERK!!!" and then push a dragon down an endless pit.
• BUHH or could you imagine if he had an ex-wife in the movie played by Jennifer Anistion? And he was assigned to capture her and take her to the dragons?? The movie could be called How to Train Your--... nevermind.
• One of my only gripes is that they didn't explain why Hiccup doesn't have a Viking accent.
• I like to pretend that after the end of the movie, the Vikings become super angry for no reason and start conquering random territories. This is potentially the prequel to The Secret of Kells.
• I have a love-hate relationship with the character designs in the film. On one hand the vikings are awesomely huge and the dragons are cleverly constructed. On the other hand I feel like some of the designs were too "safe". For example, Hiccup's hair is bland and they designed it in such a way so that it's more relatable to today's audience. TODAY's audience. Which, I realize sounds like a good thing, but it bothers me that the Jim Halpert hairdo will become passe in about 20 years. It's like if the film came out in the 1980's, they'd have given him a mullet or rattail. This grinds my gears because I feel like the movie should establish that it DOES take place in a different place and a different time, but by having fashion accustomed to the 21st century America, it breaks the confines of their world. (This is also seen in the kids' America accents. Either have everyone sound like a Viking or no one!) They implement contradictory ideas for the sake of making the film more approachable, but at the expense of more powerful story telling.
• Did I over think that? It probably just bothers me...
• Did you know the movie is loosely based on a book??

Things I learned from HTTYD

• How to train my dragon.
• Dragons are cool pets.
  
• Viking children don't have viking accents. (I assume they grow into them, like puberty.)

Conclusion

MUCH BETTER than I expected. How to Train Your Dragon was entertaining from the moment it started to the second the credits flashed. I often have horrible preconceptions that non-Pixar CG movies are going to be bad (maybe I'm just traumatized from Happily Never After). The reason for this is because movie studios (and a lot of the public) consider animated films to be made specifically for children, and with that mindset, they neglect efforts to create a compelling film and instead come out with a simple and sloppy mess that can ONLY be tolerated by children. This film has given me hope. Hope that future animated movies that aren't made by Pixar will not suck!

I'm going to show you how to kill a god.

Princess Mononoke (1997)
Directed by Hayao Miyazaki
Produced by Toshio Suzuki
Written by Hayao Miyazaki
Starring (English voices) Billy Crudup, Claire Danes, Minnie Driver, Billy Bob Thorton, Jada Pinkett Smith

Princess Mononoke Trailer

Notes

• I keep wanting to type "Princess Monkey".
• DUDE, I didn't know this movie was so... gory! They got appendages flying off everywhere! (Okay it's not that bad.)
• Could you imagine if Miyazaki directed a Pokemon movie? Pikachu would never look more beautiful...
• Why is it that in animes, the good-looking guy is always the male who looks the most like a female?
• This movie reminded me of The Lord of the Rings, The Legend of Zelda, and The Secret of Kells. It probably should've been named The Princess of Mononoke or something.
• Wait who's Mononoke?
• And why is she a princess? Couldn't she just be the queen? I guess "Queen Mononoke" sounds a little weird.
  
• Best character: Koroku the Ox Driver!
• Best scene: Pigs painting each other with their snouts.
• ASHITAKA! has been added to CHIHIRO! in my "Miyazaki character names that are yelled List."

Things I learned from Mononoke

• Wolves can still bite with their heads cut off.
• If you have feuding armies, just almost kill all of them, then they'll give up.
• Arrows can decapitate samurai!
• Don't get an infection or else your town will hate you. Forever.
  

Recommended to

• Fans of beautiful stuff.
• Fans of Miyazaki.
• Nature lovers.
  
• Those who want to see butt load of imagination.
• Those who enjoy contemplating upon the many themes of a movie.

Not recommended to

• Anime haters.
• Little kids...
  
• Those who don't want to sit down longer than 2 hours.

Conclusion

Yeah, it's a bit long. Contrary to the trailer, there actually isn't a WHOLE lot of action, but to the movie's credit, when there IS action, it's all kinds of awesome. I very much enjoyed the movie and probably got a bigger kick out of it because I love this kind of animation eye candy. Just watch out for the middle because it gets a little slow (I think Ashitaka is just sleeping or something), and I thought the end was both shocking and unevenly paced... There are also times where I'm like "wait WHAT? oh, yeah, this is a Miyazaki movie, this is magic. Gotta go with the flow...", and if you're okay with that, then by all means watch this! At least watch it to see Ashitaka battle a giant evil black Tangla.

Just be a good boy and die

Only James Bond.
Edit: I rewatched the beginning and it turns out he did not dive after a bi-plane. My bad.
Goldeneye (1995)
Directed by Martin Campbell
Produced by Albert R. Broccoli (uncredited), Michael G. Wilson, Barbara Broccoli
Screenplay by Jeffrey Caine, Bruce Feirstein
Starring Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco, Famke Janssen, Judi Dench

Goldeneye Trailer

Notes:

• This movie had both Faramir AND Jean Grey!
• Yknow, being killed by Evil Crotch Lady, probably not the worst way to die. Just sayin.
• Sometimes I imagined Brosnan as being just a regular non-spy guy during his spying missions. He then appears very creepy.
• That guy! Added a missile to the Bond car! And it was never used in this movie! What a tease!!
• James Bond chases a car with a tank. I just thought that was worth mentioning.

What I learned from Goldeneye:

• You don't have to sit down to drive a tank - one of the advantages it has over cars.
• A quick way to a girl's heart isn't being nice or sexy or suave or handsome or awesome. You just have to save her from impending doom, and 10 seconds later you two will be smoochin' in the gravel.
• Chain linked fences are a good cover from bullets flying at you, especially if you're running.

Recommended to:

• Those who like Bond movies.
• Those who like explosions.
• Those who like Pierce Brosnan.
• Those who want see lots of exciting stuff happening.
• Those who want to see Jean Grey play an evil crotch lady.
  

Not recommended to:

• Those who enjoy something a little more... thought provoking.
• Bad guys.
  

Conclusion:

Yeah, the movie was pretty fun and exciting. But the problem with it is simply that it's a little past its prime. It has lots of explosions and nonsense action that, sure, was awesome in the 90's, but all that stuff became cliche about 10 years ago. I mean Bond was caught THREE TIMES in the movie, and not once did the bad guy shoot him, even after Bond killed like half of his henchmen! Instead, the baddy usually just trapped him in some place and put a time bomb next to him. This isn't a horrible movie, nor is it an amazing one.

The film didn't even bother with a love story. Here's how I think it went down in the writers room:

"Okay, well this is the next Bond girl. How can we show them falling in love?"

"Bond saves her. They fall in love."

"Well, uh... does he charm his way into her life? Is she, at first, reluctant of a relationship, but he keeps using his moves-"

"Nope. He saves her, they fall in love."

"Really? We aren't gonna build tension or..-"

"Have you been watching too much Remmington Steel?"

"Well uh..."

"Look. We have explosions. We have shoot outs. We have explosions amidst the shoot outs. We don't need to waste our time with developing a relationship between the characters. Everyone knows that in the next movie, he'll just be banging some other chick."

"So..."

"So?"

"So... he saves her... they fall in love."

"He saves her they fall in love!"

The Italian Stallion

Rocky punching Apollo Creed's egg head into a cup. He does this 20 times, then drinks the whole cup in about 8 seconds.
Rocky (1976)
Directed by John G. Avildsen
Produced by Robert Chartoff, Irwin Winkler
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith

Notes:

• Yay for character driven stories!
• The 1970's stuff was pretty cool to watch. I wonder if they thought that in the 1970's?
• Is it me or does Apollo Creed look like Lando Calrissian. Must be the 'fro 'stache combo.
• Rocky has cool glasses.
• Rocky also has a cool name. Bravo, parents.
• Why does his manager act like Popeye?
• Sylvester Stalones' lips rarely move throughout the movie, I think that's how he keeps that cig in his mouth while he talks.
• That training season with the Rocky music was all kinds of exciting.

Things I learned from Rocky:

• "They don't remember you, they remember the rep!"
• Punching meat should always be the answer.

Random quote:

• "She's got gaps, I've got gaps... together we fill gaps."

Conclusion:

Great movie! I didn't expect to like it as much as I did.